


I miss you

by tinkyrae



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: F/M, long fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 23:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12095367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkyrae/pseuds/tinkyrae
Summary: Raven plans a secret trip away from the Titans for a few days. Why is she leaving? Beast Boy will have to handle her being gone for a little bit. BBandRae I don't Own TEEN TITANS





	1. Leaving

Raven gently folded clean civilian clothes into her black suit case. Matching outfits to the specific days that she would be gone she counted out loud softly. She noticed that she was missing her undergarments and turned back to her bureau. She let out a soft shriek as she came face to face with her boyfriend.   
  
Wearing a somber expression on his face, he pouted his lip out to her. Lowering her hand off her chest, she gave him a huffed breath and put her hands on her hips. "Don't give me that look." She scolded. Looking down at her feet he took a step forward. He caught her off guard by wrapping his arms around her middle. Like a child would to its mother. It was an awkward position since he had long since grown nine inches over the years. Burying his face into her chest he growled and whined like a puppy would after receiving a shot.   
  
"Gar." She responded, her voice was soft this time as she tried to swallow the emotion coming off of him.   
  
"Please don't go." He whined into her skin. His head rose, from her inhaled breath.   
  
"You know I'll won't be gone long." She reasoned. She gently ran her slim fingers through his green hair. "Come on don't be like this." He finally moved off her chest but kept his arms around her petite form.   
  
"Why do you have to go again?" He asked.   
  
"You know why, if I can leave early, I will." She stated looking deep into his pools of emerald. They seem to glisten at her, begging, pleading her to stay with him. "It will be okay, you'll be fine and it will be good to get some distance between us."   
  
"Don't say that Rae."  
  
"Why not? Haven't you heard absence makes the heart grow fonder?"    
  
Scoffing he began muttering something under his breath that she was pretending not to hear. Her eye brows furrowed together as her eyes peered up at him. This was her classic look. He knew the look, it was one that in their early years he was positive it was only expression she ever wore. He was pushing her annoyed button. He decided to retreat, he couldn't stop her from leaving and he definitely didn't want her leaving with bad feelings towards him.   
  
"When will you be back for sure?" He inquired dropping his hands to his side. Taking a step to the right, he quit blocking the bureau. She smiled trying to show him that she was grateful for his backing out of an argument.   
  
"Three days is all." She reminded him.   
  
"So August 6th?"   
  
"Yes." She confirmed. She moved back to her suitcase her hands full her delicates. She felt him move right beside her. That was a interesting habit that he had formed over the years. When he was in deep conversation with her he liked to watch her eyes. He said they held all the answers to everything in them.   
  
"You know what day that is?" He inquired. This times she couldn't stop the smile from forming on her lips. She turned to face him and answered,   
  
"Of course, it seems like just yesterday you were pounding obnoxiously on my door."  
  
"That was yesterday." He stated. Smirking at him she nodded.  
  
"Yes, but I mean that day you came to my room and told me you weren't leaving until I accepted your offer." Grinning at her, he rubbed his neck.  
  
"I'm so glad you finally realized the error of your ways." Raising her eyebrows gave him a swift shake of her head.   
  
"Not funny Garfield." She retorted softly. His smile faded as he remembered that she would soon be leaving him. He was quiet as he watched her fold her black lacy items. A soft smirk form on his lips, showing off his fang.   
  
"Maybe if I'm good you'll wear this for me on the day you come back?" His voice masked in seduction. He gently pick up his favorite undergarment of hers. Lace with green inseams. Besides the obvious fact of how she looked in it he loved tracing the green with his fingers. Cocking her head she gently reached against him so that he could feel her chest breathing in and out.   
  
"Maybe if you behave I'll buy something special." She whispered into his ear. She took the item out of his hand and shoved it back inside. Shutting it softly she turned her back on the case. He gently grabbed her hips and pulled her in close. His eyes glimmered with excitement.   
  
"You promised?" She arched up against him and then slowly leaned into him. He could almost taste the honey on her lips as she closed the space between them.   
  
She was so close he could feel the word as it left her mouth, "No." She taunted then she pulled away from him. He let out a whine as he watch her grab her shoes.   
  
"Why do you tease me like that?"   
  
"Because it's funny to see you squirm." She stated plainly. She pulled up her normal boots, she always wore. Standing up she looked around her room, searching for any forgotten items.  She turned towards her bed to see him sitting on the bed. His ears had drooped down, a classic sign of how upset he was. She shifted her weight to a different leg, wondering if she should tell him the real reason for her trip.  _'No it has to be a secret especially from him.'_ she answered to herself. Sighing she knew that it would be hard for him but he could do it.   
  
Walking to him she gently parted his legs with her knee, so she could stand in between them. She gently shook her hair tossing it back behind her. She knew that he loved when she did that because he would get a perfect whiff of her lavender scent. His eyes softly closed as she rested her forehead against his.   
  
"I'll miss you Rae." He informed her, for the fourteenth time that week. Using her powers her hands began to glow, warming his face. A silly thing she did when he was upset. It honestly was placebo effect that she did to lift his spirits. The first time she did it she claimed it was healing kind of ability to help lessen the ache of a sad heart. He of course didn't think any different and it seemed to work. She had since told him that when she did this to him all it was just using her using the light from the powers to produce heat, nothing more. This didn't stop her from doing to him every now and again. He sighed at her touch and gently kissed her soft lips. She gripped his cheeks pulling him deep into a kiss. Finally after a few moments of her trying to convince him that it would be okay with her lips, she pulled away.   
  
"I'll see you soon." She whispered. He open his eyes he watched her pick up the small suit case. Giving her a nod he fought with his tongue to mutter out the words that were constantly in the back of his throat. They were simple words but the power that came with them was enough to drive her away. So instead of staying the three words he stuck to his normal, phrase that he said to her.   
  
"Stay safe Rae." She smiled at him and then surrounded herself in blackness.

* * *

  
  
He sat on the bed, his eye lingering at the spot she had just been in. As soon as she melted in to the floor the emptiness found it's way into her dark room. Gulping Garfield shuddered. It was weird how the second she left a room he got that empty feeling. It was feeling that couldn't be describe in words, it was the most horrid feeling in the whole world. Like the color was completely drained from the room and he would never feel joy again. He quickly moved out of her room. Although she had told him he was more than welcome to sleep in there, since that's where he spent the last four months, there was no way he could stand it.  
  
Raven had never been gone for more than a day before. As he entered his room he let out a heavy sigh. The room had been cleaned for the most part, while some things did still linger in the corners as forgotten treasures waiting to be discovered later. He grabbed the picture off his TV stand and cradled against his chest. He didn't think Raven really had any clue how difficult her not being around was on him. Blaming it all on his powers he gently laid down on his bed. Looking at the picture of the team his heart ached as he stared at the emotionless girl. Besides the emptiness he felt, it was also the fact that he couldn't feel her presence just down the hall. Even when they fought and he would get pissed and leave for a couple of hours, coming back he instantly could sense her, smell her.   
  
"What am I suppose to do for three days?" He asked the picture. He sat down the picture and began to rub his eyes. "I love you." The phrase popped out unintentionally. Staring up at the ceiling he began to think. The words often made their way out, and while as of late they frequently left his lips, it was always while there weren't ears to hear them. After shutting the car door, after a date. Long after she was asleep in his arms. Or after a battle as the team rejoiced in victory. That is when the L word would come out. He was terrified of what the words would do to their relationship. It already was a very dysfunctional one and he didn't want anything to jeopardize it, especially a phrase.    
  
He knew it the second she opened her door to him. It was probably the millionth and half time of her doing this but this time, almost a year ago, as she opened the door, he couldn't help but feel his entire body go rigid. He asked a simple question, will you be my girlfriend? They both had been fighting and hiding the feelings. But he decided that it was time to give it up, give into the uneasiness of it all. Her eyes glimmered at him as she softly told him yes. He loved her then, and he loved her now. Even if he never said it he felt it with every fiber in his being.   
  
He mainly had chosen to prove his love through different ways. He figured it was better this way, if the time ever came for him to say it that she could never question it, only accept it. Never hearing or speaking the sentence it still had found it's way into their new relationship. It was there the time he surprised her and cooked her favorite meal, which consisted of meat. After they fought Plasmus, and Cinderblock, the whole team looked terrible. She had bits of dirt and gravel caked with purple goo, in her hair, but it was there as he gently whispered,  _you still look beautiful_. When someone made fun of his green skin at the movie theater and she went off like a bomb on the foolish person. and it had been there every time she came to get him, and would softly tell him to come to bed with her. Love had only grown more and more as time when on. He never said the actual word love, and yet he told her everyday.   
  
He told himself to try to get some sleep, it would be a good way to waste the hours. Closing his eyes with such force he felt a headache starting to come on. _'Great, so you can miss someone so much it makes you sick.'_ He thought to himself. He sat up for a second, reaching behind him, he pulled the shirt that was on him off. Throwing it off into direction that he didn't care. He laid back down on the pillow. Pulling up the sheets he began to focus on calming his brain. With closed eyes he choose to focus on the fact that she would be back soon, and then he could hold her all night long. He tried to envision what that would feel like. Her well defined anatomy pressed right against his, like a puzzle fitting perfectly together. Her soft velvet gray skin gently brushing against his with every breath she took. Her violet hair draped across the pillow like a waterfall. The soft smell of her lavender lingering on her skin from the wear of the day.   
  
Breathing in a deep sigh he finally felt his body relax. He had memorized the sound of her heart beat. He knew how it sounded when she was upset, excited, tired, or when she was in the middle of a battle. Out of all the different patterns, and rhythms it made, he had two favorites. First one was how it raced right before she reach her pure ecstasy. He had discovered it after months of just kissing turned into more lust filled highs until it happened. She finally accepted, trusted him enough that they made love to each other. It wasn't planned or how he thought it was going to be the moment he heard her heart began its drumming he fell in love with it. The second favorite was a steady beat. It gently pulsed as she relaxed and let her body go into a deep sleep. This sound was his lullaby at night. Letting his mind play the sound of her heart and slowed breaths by memory it wasn't long before he too was taken by sleep.   


* * *

  
  
Raven transported right into the place she had been told to meet at. Softly putting her suitcase down she glanced around the spacious room. She admired the brightly colored painting that hung on the walls on either side of her. Walking down a bit she wondered if the host had forgotten that she was coming today. She turned her head looking in both directions, it was quiet. Maybe there was a problem and they had emergency? Turning back towards her suitcase she straighten up at the sound a door shutting. She looked over her shoulder, down the hall. Then almost out of thin air the woman appeared into the room. Smiling softly she reached out to shake Raven's hand. Greeting her she spoke with a soft understanding voice,   
  
"Sorry to keep you waiting, it's good to see you again Raven." 


	2. Rita & Steve

Extending her hand out to her, Raven took a step forward and took her hand. "Thank you for having me." She replied, "You have a lovely home." She added softly. She let go of the woman's hand and began to let her eyes wander again.   
  
"Of course I'm glad you decided to help, I wasn't quite sure who to call." The woman replied. Raven didn't answer as she was taking in the feeling of the room. She could sense someone else was home, someone who wasn't as calm and collected as the woman was. "Please let me take you into the kitchen, I could get you a drink? Do you still love tea?" The woman asked extending her arm out towards the hallway. This time Raven locked eyes with her and nodded politely.   
  
"Yes that would be perfect." Smiling brightly the woman began to lead her down the hall into the kitchen. Raven looked around and noticed much like the front foyer it also was large and immense. Sitting down on a large bar stool, her hands gently rested on the smooth cold marble counter. The woman moved towards the oven and picked up the tea kettle. It was quiet as she filled it with water and sat it back on the stove. Turning around the woman smiled once again and folded her hands.   
  
"So?" She began breaking the awkward silence in the room. "Please tell me about yourself. I know we met years ago, and while Garfield has mentioned you a few times, I hardly seem to know anything about you." Focusing her eyes on her, Raven gently swallowed back her uneasiness that she was feeling and tried to explain herself with little detail as possible.   
  
"Well you know my name and my powers, so what else would you like to know?"   
  
The woman raised her eyebrows taken aback by her response. "I suppose, tell me why you were so willing to come out here. On the phone you seemed so sure of helping." She remarked she turned her back on her and moved towards a cabinet. Opening it up she pulled two green mugs off the shelf and sat them next to the kettle.   
  
Biting her lip Raven questioned whether or not she admit the reason. "I'm very close to Garfield and I'm willing to help out anyway I can."   
  
"Close?" The woman inquired she pulled out two boxes of tea, a fruit one and a earl grey. Turning her head she continued, "Are you two together or?"   
  
With out even realizing Raven narrowed her eyes a bit, maybe it was for the best if she did come clean considering who she was. "We are." She answered slowly. She wanted a good reaction and she only knew this woman from what Gar had told her. She poured the boiling water into the mugs. She moved to the other side of the counter and placed the mug in front of her. Still wearing a smile, she moved around the side to Raven.   
  
Raven was stunned as the woman gently brushed her cheek before wrapping her into a tight hug. "Uh," was the only thing she could think to say. Feeling more awkward then ever, her hand gently rose and patted the woman's shoulder twice. The woman pulled away and began to wipe tears away from her eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry!" she gushed. "I always turn into a big cry baby about these things." Sighing softly she moved back around to her side of the counter. Raven stared at her wide eyes unsure of what do or say. "I just want him to be so happy, and now that he's found a beautiful girl," She paused picking up the tea. "He best never let you go." She gently held out the teas for her to choose. Raven felt her face heat up from the statement. Picking the raspberry one, Raven pushed her tea bag into the steaming cup. She could feel glimmering eyes on her as she did this. She looked up and the woman was indeed staring at her.  Reaching out to her she grasped her gray hand. "You're so sweet to do this for Garfield."   
  
She nodded briefly and stated, "Well actually he doesn't really know I'm here." Smirking the woman rubbed her thumb on the top of her hand.   
  
"So she's smart too." She announced. Hearing this Raven felt a tiny bit of the awkwardness leave from the complement.   
  
"I'm sure you know all about his feelings then?" Raven asked quietly. She watched as the woman's smile faded off her face.   
  
"Oh yes, Garfield made it clear long ago he didn't want anything to do with the inheritance, or the possessions of the Logan family." She commented. Handing over a jar of honey and a spoon to the Empath, she frowned.   
  
"Why?" Raven questioned. She had often wondered this, but never could get a straight answer from him. And with feelings of grief and regret inside of him she could only come up with her own conclusion.   
  
The woman let out a sigh as her eyes met the floor. "I think Garfield has never forgiven himself for not being able to save them."   
  
"But he was only a child, he shouldn't even blame himself for the accident." Raven protested. Stirring her tea, she couldn't help but peer at the thin woman.   
  
"You know him, when has he ever been able to not to blame himself?"   
  
Raven shut her mouth instantly realizing the truth of it all. He did have a problem with always putting himself down. He never forgave himself when Terra died either. Noticing the quietness she offered a sad smile, knowing that she was not mistaken and began to drink her tea.   
  
"RITA!" Came a deep voice that cause both ladies to jump slightly. Rita swiveled her head around and looked towards a door that was closed.   
  
"I'm sorry Steve doesn't realize we have company, just a second." She apologized then quickly moved to the door. Raven closed her eyes as she sipped her tea. It was obvious now, whom the bad feelings she was reading were coming from. What she didn't know is why he was emitting these types of negative emotions, but something told her she was about to find out.   
  
"WHAT is SHE doing here?" Came the loud booming voice, he was getting closer. Raven looked back at the door. She couldn't make out what Rita was saying but her voice was so calm compared to his. "I don't want her here!" He shouted. It was clear he wanted her to hear that. Her stomach flopped as she wondered if she should make a quick exit.   
  
"Steve Dayton, you stop it right now. She is a guest and I'll have you know she could be a future Logan one day." Rita scolded her husband. Raven nearly dropped her cup as she heard this. Her heart heaved itself deep into her throat as she stared bugged eyed at the door.   
  
 _'Future Logan?!'_ she thought. She felt a sudden need to escape, abort the mission. She rose off the stool but before she could even make it to her bag, she heard, Steve say,  
  
"Raven isn't it?" Holding her breath she closed her eyes before she turned back on her heel. Face him she let out the breath and nodded.   
  
"Yes, Mr. Dayton  _pleasure_  to see you again." She stated politely as possible. She offered her hand even though she didn't want to. She could feel his eyes piercing into her as he made no offer to her hand. Slowly dropping it to her side she wondered what she had deserve such feeling from him.   
  
"So? I hear you came to collect some of Garfield's belongings?" He questioned. She could feel everything he was emitting and the strong emotion was making her ill. He didn't like her, which was funny since he didn't know her. Swallowing the lump in the back of her throat, she looked towards Rita.   
  
"Yes, I have." She spoke softly. It was hard for her not to retreat or bite off his head for all the emotion running through him.   
  
"And he didn't come with because?"   
  
"He has no knowledge that I'm here. I hope to pick up the items and take them back with me." She reported, she could feel her confidence getting stronger with every doubtful look he gave her. He had no right to treat her like this and she knew that if Gar had been there he wouldn't have let him treat her like that.   
  
Shifting his eyes back from his wife to her, Raven waited for him to make his rebuttal to her.   
  
"I see." He finally responded bluntly. His twisted almost if he was fighting to keep his thoughts inside. She kept her face straight knowing that if she didn't it too would show a similar look to his. Being the type of person she was she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of her anger. Not getting any reaction Steve let out a huff. He turned back towards his wife.   
  
"She's not staying here." he whispered angrily at his wife. Rita gave him a glare before catching Raven eye.   
  
"Excuse me. I'm actually sitting right here." Raven stated to him. Cocking his head back he stared at her wide eyed. She sat back down on the stool before going on. "I know you don't like me, which is completely your opinion, although you have no reason to dislike me considering you don't know me-" She was cut off from his scoffs.  
  
"I know plenty." He had twisted his body all the way around and was now trying to show his dominance. She only raised her eyebrow at him as he continued. "Raven, of Azarath, born from a whore mother, and the incarnation of evil of itself. Making her half human and half demon. Raised by monks until you ran away from a prophecy at the age of 14. An Empath that practices black magic, and call them powers. And almost destroyed the planet almost five years ago."   
  
Raven didn't say anything at first, she honestly wanted to make sure he was finished before she made reply. Noticing the only sound was Steve's heavy breathing she licked her lips and calmly stated, "How long did it take you to look me up on the internet?" Steve's mouth dropped slightly as shock played on his face. "I wonder what kind of dirt I could find on you?" She raised the cup up to her lips and took another drink.   
  
Looking over the rim off her mug she saw that her comment had done it's job and now he was sporting a death glare at her.   
  
"I'll have you know that while, yes everything you did say is true, I'm not an evil demon that you just assumed I am. I'll repeat myself once again, you have no reason to hate me because I have never done anything to you or your family." She finished her remark and stepped off of the stool she had been on.   
  
Looking at Rita she gave her a look telling her that she was quite done with them. "Rita, if I could just get the information from you," stopping she turned her attention back to Steve. "I'll be right on my way." She spat to him.   
  
Rita huffed and shoved her husband out of her way. She walked to the fridge and pulled off a sticky note. She paused reading the note. Pulling out the slim drawer she reached inside and produced a light blue envelope. Spinning back to Raven she handed the sticky note first. "Here is the number for the office that is in charge of the estate, Tom is been the one we have been in contact with. The address at the bottom is the apartment the Logan's lived in for about a year in half when Garfield was born." She talked with the same kindness as before but Raven could hear the sadness and disappointment in her voice. She gently looked down at her left hand that contained the envelope, frowning it looked as if she was doubting whether or not to hand it over to the goth. Finally she sniffed slightly and handed the letter over to her. "Could you please give this to Garfield? I know it will be a while before he'll want to open it, but maybe it will be different if you deliver it."   
  
Raven nodded and took the items. She gave a last glance at the male in the room and then walked back into the foyer. Picking up the small suit case she heard Rita begin to reprimand her spouse, "I won't stand for your cruelty. I swear if you ruined Garfield relationship with that beautiful young woman, I'm done with you." Sighing Raven had hoped for a better interaction with the two people that Garfield had once called parents. Showing herself to the door, it wasn't until she was walking down the drive way did she hear Rita's soft footsteps behind her.   
  
"I'm so sorry for Steve's behavior, I know you must be tired, please come back in." She called out to her. Raven shook her head and continued down the drive.    
  
"I appreciate your hospitality and your trust in me getting these items for Garfield, but I had no plans of staying here. I made reservations the night you called me. You were nothing but sweet and kind to me, but it's clear as to why Garfield doesn't talk about Steve." Raven explained she stopped briefly and gave Rita a small smile. "It was nice to finally meet you." With that as her final remark she trudged down the street and out of sight of the large spacious house.


	3. New, old house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright lets get it out right here. I don't own Teen Titans or any characters in Teen Titans. That being said, I can't say that any information I've have put in here about the Logan's is true. What I've written is strictly based on what I made up in my head. I looked on multiple sites and even in my comic books and the little I found, I already knew. It makes sense that little is known about Garfield Parents since they weren't superheros and they died tragically when Garfield was just a child.

The soft sound of buzzing woke the empath out her sleep. Her legs gently brush the cold soft sheets. This action made her become more awake. Propping herself on her elbows she looked around the room. It took a second before her tired brain remember that she wasn't in Titan's Tower any more. Rubbing her tired right eye she noticed the buzzing had finally stopped. Cocking her head to the left her eyes squinted at the soft light glowing in the dark. Yawning slightly she laid her head back down on the pillow. On cue the buzzing sound started again. Lifting her head off the pillow she let out a soft sigh as she realized that it was in deed her cell phone ringing. Picking it up she peered at the bright screen with one eye open.   
  
Incoming call from Garfield Logan.   
  
She held the phone in her hand for a moment wondering the possibilities of him continuing to call her if she didn't pick up. She could even turn her phone off until morning, but knowing him and how he acted, she didn't need him freaking out because he couldn't get a hold of her. With one swipe of her finger the phone answered and she gave him a groggy greeting.  
  
"Hel.. Hello?"   
  
"Rae?"   
  
"Yes? What's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing." He stated pausing hearing the tone in her voice, "are you okay?"   
  
"I'm fine."   
  
"Did I wake you up?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Oh my god I'm so sorry."   
  
"It's fine. Are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm okay. I miss you. I just wanted to check up on you. See how you are?" He explained quietly. Clearing his throat he had felt bad that he had awoken her, but at the same time it was so great to hear her voice.   
  
"I'm fine Beast Boy, I'm here safe and sound, I was sleeping peacefully until you called." She remarked laying back down on the pillow she had let her eyes close as screen from her phone warm her face.  
  
"I'm sorry I woke you. What time is there?"   
  
"3:16 AM."   
  
"Shit, I'm sorry."   
  
"Please stop apologizing, I knew that if I didn't answer you'd only get more freaked out." He let out a soft giggle in her ear that made her feel like she was laying right next to him. Her chest tighten as she listened to his soft breathing and the low sound of his vocal cords. The young woman would never admit it but in that moment she felt homesick. Homesick for him.   
  
"Well I'm glad you answered. I hope everything is going well. With all the mediation gurus and spiritual stuff, you know."   
  
She could almost hear the smile in his voice, as he spoke. Frowning she wish she could have told him that she wasn't actually on a mediation retreat. She wasn't one to try to deceive people, especially him. Sighing softly she responded kindly to him. "Thank you. Have a good night."   
  
Catching on to the hint he offered a sincere good bye. "Good Night Raven, sweet dreams."  
  
"Gar?" She replied suddenly into the phone.    
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Thanks for calling." She said softly    
  
He was silent for a brief second before he gave her a final goodbye. "Stay safe."    
  
Pressing the red button on her phone she hung up her phone and placed it back on the bedside table. She huffed and rolled over on to her side. Looking for a comfortable position she shifted her legs and arms a few times. She pulled the sheets up over her shoulders and tucked herself into the queen size bed. She needed her rest and knew she had an early start. With the thoughts of deception, and the sudden uncommon emotion of missing home hit her she sat up and fluffed up her pillow. Adjusting her head and neck she force herself to get into one position and stay in it. With her eyes closed she breathed in the scent of the fresh linen.   
  
"I miss you too." She murmured into the dark.   
  
\---  
As soon as the light hit the bed from the window the dark girl began to stir. She fought the her desires to stay in bed for the day. She had appointment to get to. She checked the time and saw that she had two messages. One was from her boyfriend, and the other from her leader.   
  
"Raven, I hope everything is going well. I looked into that storage area that you asked for. It looks like as long as all the items fit all into one unit there shouldn't have any problems. Let me know if you need anything else." Shaking her head she couldn't help but wonder why it was always business with him. Never once was did he actually talk to her in anything other than an very official tone. She typed a short thank you text back to him. She sighed as she opened the other text.  
  
"Today, Dick made us do laps. We haven't done that since we first joined the team. What the hell? Sometimes I think the guy gets sort of sick joy out of seeing us in pain."   
  
A small smirk formed on her lips as she reread the message again. At least she knew that if she ever went somewhere he wasn't going to leave her out the loop. She pressed the power button on her phone and got out her bed. Stretching up she slowly made her way around the bed and into the bathroom. _'Time to get this over with.'_ She thought and then turned on the hot water.   
  
...  
  
Raven sipped her ice tea and waited patiently for the man she had talked to on the phone. She pulled down on the sleeve of her black jacket and took another drink. She had been early, but as she noticed that it was getting later and later she was worried that some how she had gotten the wrong information. Just as she was about to pull out phone she spotted a short fat man walking briskly down the sidewalk.   
  
She stood as she spied the man as he moved closer to her. His face was plump and he wore a bushy mustache that was well groomed and cared for. He carried a brown brief case that gently swung as he moved. He offered her an unsure look as he approached her.   
  
"Are you Raven?" He asked taking off his hat. His eyes stared at her hair in wonderment. Softly brushing her hand into her hair. She nodded and held out her opposite hand to him. _'Please don't make a comment about the hair.'_ she begged in her head.   
  
"Tom?"   
  
"Yes I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting. I'm running behind schedule today." He explained shaking her hand. He smiled a quick smile before letting go of her hand and gesturing to the door. "Shall we get started?" She let out the breath she had been holding and turned to follow. He moved up the stairs his hands dove into his pockets fishing out a key ring of keys. "Now we have some paperwork to go over but I'd love to give you a tour." He stated finding the correct key and fitting into the lock. He turned the lock a few times then he opened the door. Raising his hand he ushered her in first.   
  
Stepping up on the small step Raven walked into the door way and made her way in. A sweet smell hit her nose, that reminded her of field filled with flowers. Tom walked in after and shut the door quietly behind him. Raven eyes were all over observing the area. The foyer was small compared to the others she had seen recently. The small foyer didn't have much room for any furniture. The floor was a dark wood that went all the way into the house. To the left of her was a small room that looked like a greeting room. It was painted a light blue color making it look bright and welcoming. Only two matching chairs sat in this room. To the right was a set of stairs that lead obviously to the upstairs. The stairs and the banister match the coloring of the floor.    
  
Tom cleared his throat not wanting to interrupt rudely but small spaces weren't very comfortable for the fat man. He sat the brief case down and hung his hat on a small hook near the door. "As you can see the foyer is quite small." He begin. He took a step a forward into the blue room. "Now did you know much of the Logan's?" Raven broke her gaze and gave him a small answer.  
  
"No," She paused her lips gently pursing "Well I mean I know just basic facts." Tom nodded a few times and clapped his hands together.   
  
"Well you may have found the one person who knows the most about them." He chuckled slightly. She didn't respond to this, her thoughts wandering a little bit. He cleared his throat a bit and started a story that sounded almost rehearsed to her.   
  
"Mark Logan was born in New Jersey. With a troublesome childhood, the bright child some how defied the odds and graduated from Columbia University with a major in science. Two years later he began to the unyielding task of getting accepted into Oxford. That's where he met her." He picked up a picture, one Raven hadn't even noticed before, that had been hanging on the wall. He handed it to Raven. Taking it carefully she gazed down at the picture. A young couple stood in front of church in wedding attire. Their faces as bright as the sun as they beamed at the unseen person behind the camera. Staring at the smiles she couldn't help but find them, very familiar. She gave a lingering look at the photo before handing it back to him.   
  
"Marie Matthews, an only child born into a wealthy family. She was put into bordering school as soon as possible and this is where she found her passion. The woman was brilliant. She could solve math equations in minutes, problems that would take professors hours. She was accepted into Oxford and began her studies in zoology mainly monkeys. She met Mark and from what I understand it happened pretty fast. Here follow me this way." He strode into the hallway and began down the narrow way.   
  
Raven followed close behind keeping to herself. She wished that Garfield had been there with her. It felt like there was a missing piece to a the bigger picture. A piece that would not be filled, no matter how many facts and info Tom had on the Logan's. It was something that she was sure would only be filled if the last Logan had been right next to her. She tried to picture what he would be like if he had been there as well. Now when he would take her somewhere new, somewhere she had never before he would gently rest his green hand on her waist and lead her along. Pointing and chuckling as he went. He would tell her stories making like she had been with him as he recounted the memories. She wonder if he would do the same now, or would he just stare in wonderment as Tom gave the tour.   
  
"Now this apartment was bought by Marie's father as a wedding gift for the young couple. With all the schooling, internships, and all the researching that they did, the couple was hardly ever home. As you can see, the place is in immaculate condition." The two entered the Kitchen which was just as small as the rest of the apartment. It was cute and quaint. "After the accident Marie's father bought the whole apartment complex. It was easier that way on him."   
  
"What happened to Mr. Matthews?" Raven asked touching the titled counter top. Garfield never mentioned having a grandfather and his personal file never stated he had one.   
  
Tom's mustache seemed to twitch slightly as he replied to her. "Mr. Matthew's died about three years after the accident. I don't believe he ever met Garfield." Shifting slightly she brought her gaze to floor. It was clear that one person who was actually related to Gar made no effort in helping the orphan boy. Not that she was all that surprised he had also sent his only child away as well.   
  
A new uncomfortable quietness filled the room as Tom didn't know how to go on and Raven was processing everything that was being told to her. Shortly after what had felt like ages to the poor fellow he moved again. "Well there isn't much left to show you so lets move along." She followed him back into the front of the house and he began up the stairs.   
  
"Now like I said, Mr. Matthews bought the building and continued to rent it out to people, but apartment B, this one was left vacant. No one really knew why he did this, but many assume it was because he didn't quite know how to process the death of his daughter." He explained as he climbed the stairs. Raven followed but from a distance she was letting her finger tips softly run up the banister as she went.   
  
"He hired a personal house keeper to keep the house in order and dust free. She continues to do this to this day. They reach the top of the landing he stepped to the side letting her step up. "The Logan's did live here for almost two years. After Marie found out she was pregnant she took some time off from all the research and began to get ready for a child. It was the longest they had ever stayed in one place." Raven nodded eyeing the different rooms. She did recall Gar telling her that he didn't remember ever living him an actual home until he was brought into the Doom Patrol. The African Jungle was his home.   
  
He smiled as he raised his hand again to usher her in. There was three rooms and a bathroom on the top floor of the apartment. Straight ahead of them was the bathroom. He gestured to his far left. He stood in the door way as Raven walked into the room. "This was an office area, Mark took his work very seriously and wanted to be at home with his wife and new born son." There was a big desk that took up most of room, besides that this room was much like the others, bare. It made sense that it was this way, especially if everything the Logan's had worked on went with them on the ventures into the jungle.   
  
Moving out of the room Raven was suddenly quite sure that all the processions of the Logan's would definitely fit into the storage unit. She moved out of the room and into the next room. Her breath caught into her throat as her eyes fell on to the crib. The nursery. His nursery. A small banner hung above the crib spelling out, G A R F E I L D. She blinked for a few moments taking it all in. Out of all the rooms this had been the most furnished. A rocking chair sat in far corner. A dresser, a changing table, and baby swing.   
  
Unsure of the emotion that was trying to force itself out, Raven remained completely still. It was an emotion that she had never felt quite before. It was only the sound of Tom clearing his throat did she remember that she wasn't alone. Turning towards him she nodded and walked out of the room. The last room was clearly the master bedroom. Walking gracefully into the room she noticed a vanity. It was made of wood and looked antique. Raven stepped towards it spying the pictures that had been tucked into the frame of the mirror. Gently she brushed against the smooth wood.   
  
"Beautiful piece isn't it?" Tom declared   
  
"Yes it is." She agreed her eyes studying the pictures. A man with blonde hair was in most of them, the same one that was in the picture down stairs. He was tall and muscular. Her hand rose to the picture that was on the top middle of the mirror. Gingerly she plucked the picture and pulled it closer. A small baby no more then a few months stared up at the photographer with a wide look in his blue eyes. Unable to stop the smirk on her face, she held the photo as if it was a fragile piece of paper that would crumble if she held it too tightly. She gently tucked it back into its place.  
  
"Would you like a moment? I'm going back to the greeting room to pull out the paper work." Tom stated.   
  
"Thank you." She said softly. Hearing his heavy foot steps walk away from her she gazed at herself in the mirror. She tucked a violet lock back behind her ear and noticed a perfume bottle sitting on top. It was so unlike her as she softly picked the bottle up and opened the lid. The sweet scent filled her nostrils as she breathed the fragrance in. She put the lid back on and sat it back on the vanity. She began to wonder what it was like, years ago.   
  
Sitting on the edge of the bed she stared at the carpet. Turning her head back to the vanity she could vision Marie sitting there brushing her brown hair as her tall husband stood at the foot of the bed. He held a book in his hand as he told her to hurry. Smiling softly Marie looked at him through the mirror. Sitting the brush down she stood and smoothed out her blouse. Turning around her smile only grew larger as she moved towards her son. A blanket had been spread out on the floor for the baby to sit and play with his toys. He gave out a soft giggle as his mother scooped him into her arms. Kissing the top of his blonde head she told him that it was time to go on adventure. The memory melted into the air, leaving the empath still sitting on the bed.    
  
A new thought came to her as she wondered what it would have been like to meet Gar's parents. What would they have thought of her? Would they have approve of their sons choice? Or would they be ashamed to know that he had picked a half demon for girlfriend. Million questions began to race in her head as she pondered what life would have been like if they had been still alive. Would they have wanted Gar to marry her, like Rita did? Would they have kicked her out like Steve did? Suddenly she felt a warm presence enter the room. Looking towards the door Raven inhaled slowly letting the warm feeling sit in the room.  
  
After a few moments of just sitting in silence Raven stood up and looking towards the ceiling. "I'm Raven." She spoke quietly to air. She paused as if she wanted the presence to give her an answer. ' _Take care of him._ ' The thought rang in her head. Raven felt like her chest was on fire. She kept swallowing trying to force the warm feeling down. She moved to the door and turned her head slightly. "I will." She murmured. She gave one last glance at the room, before leaving the warm feelings inside. 


	4. All Business

Raven moved down the stairs ready to talk business with Tom. He smiled as he looked up from his paper work. She moved to the free seat and began twiddling her fingers. Tom eyes moved across the page of the papers in his hand and then he cleared his throat.   
  
"Alright, so to began, Mr. Garfield Logan has no interest in living in this apartment is that correct?"   
  
"He lives in California, I'm sure he currently has no thought or desire to live in Africa." She responded. Once again Tom's mustache twitched as he began to nod.  
  
"Ah, Yes I figured as much. It's just part of my job to make sure that beneficiary understands what  _he's giving up_. He will need sign some documentation stating he is giving the property away. There is no need for him to present for that I can just fax him the papers and have my people check for authentic signature."  
  
Raven suddenly became very quiet.  _'What he's giving up.'_ played in her head over and over again. She couldn't help the uneasy feeling that had formed in the pit of her stomach. Garfield may not want anything to do this place but that didn't mean that he never want anything to do with it. He shouldn't be giving up anything. He had grown up and matured so much over the last few years, and Raven knew that he would only keep maturing. What would happen if he woke up one day and regretted ever giving up his first home.   
  
Her mind started working out a new idea. "Mr. Shinkle, I want to buy this apartment." The Empath spoke quickly. He raised his eye brow at her completely flabbergasted by her request. She didn't wait for him to censure her and continued. "I'd like to just buy this unit. I'll even continue to pay for the house keeper." She finished watching him intently.    
  
"Uh?" Tom let out from his lips, he began shifting through his papers. This action only made Raven blink a few times. Finally he shook his head trying to get is bearings back. "Okay, Okay." He stated few times. Finally he stacked his papers on his knee, so they were perfect and straight again.  He smiled at her and finally stated, "I can help you with this." She gave him a soft smile, nodded and exhaled.  


 

The warm feeling came back into her chest, it slowly made it way down her body. Her uneasy feeling dissipated as the warm feeling took its place. This was the right thing to do. She knew it. Even if the two went there separate ways she could always surprise him one day. This would show him how much she cared about him. If things went sour with the couple and the team finally retired she would have somewhere to live. She had always wanted to explore the world more. Either way it was win win situation. Yes this was the best decision. 

"I will call the moving company. I'm sure you want to keep everything here then?" Tom asked He pulled out a pen and began scribbling something down on the top page. 

"Yes that will be fine." 

"This actually save us a lot of time. I'm going to get you started on the paper work. And I'm going to make a few phone calls." Tom exclaimed. He pulled out two pages and handed them over to Raven. He handed her the pen and told her to fill out the form as best as she could. He moved out the room with a cell phone in his hand. Raven stared at the papers she just been hand and noticed the first blank was full name. She sighed and twirled the pen in between her fingers. Taking a firm grip on the pen she neatly began to write in her perfect penmanship. She did what she was told and filled out the basic form. It wasn't until she heard the door shut that her head lifted up. 

"Okay we still have a much more processing to go through but I'm glad we have gotten this started." He smiled taking the forms her. "I'm so glad that the unit is being bought by you. I was quite somber to know it was going to be put up for sale. There is a special feeling here and I know it can stay here now that you're going to keep it the same." He stated in a enthusiastic tone. A small smile formed her lips as she listened to him. 

"Thank you for your help." her voice was soft and quiet as she spoke. "Thank you for the tour as well." 

"Of course if you have any more questions please let me know. I'll do my best to answer them." She only nodded standing up. He smiled and then added, "I have to get to another appointment but I do want to give you one last thing. I never had the chance to talk to Garfield personally but I have a feeling he'll want this." He shuffled out of the room and into the hallway. Stepping softly behind him she watched as he stopped in front of a small closet located underneath the stairs. The door was well concealed with the only way of realizing it was a door was a small hole. Sticking his fat finger into the hole he pulled the door to the left sliding the door into the wall.

She looked over his shoulder curiously. The small closet was big enough maybe to hold a few boxes and that was it. Tom stepped forward not going in all way, surely he would get stuck. He leaned down to a small box sitting on the floor. "Most of the boxes in here contain the Logan's notes and research items, but this parcel was mailed back to the house after a tribal woman found it in the camp of their last location." He pulled out a thick manila colored package. He gently put the lid back on tucking the box back into it's resting spot. The door softly squeaked in its track as Tom shut it. Turning around he handed the parcel softly to the young woman. 

Her gray hands seemed unsteady as she took the package and began to open the top. Peering inside she saw rather large leather bound book. She gave Tom a curious look and then her hand dove into the envelope. She slowly pulled out the book and flipped it around to look at the cover. The book had a dark rich chocolate color, with a soft satisfying feel to it. Right in the middle of the cover was the letter L. The letter was simple with a nice gold finish. Her fingers gently stroke the top of the book and then she opened it to the front page. 

Her violet eyes glimmered as she read the title page. "This journal belongs to  _Marie Logan_." The script of Marie's name was in a flowery and sharp calligraphy. She looked fixedly at the words her stomach bubbling with anticipation. Her thin fingers fiddled in between the pages. Carefully she bend the pages flipping them rapidly. A series of pictures and more script flashed before her eyes before she landed on a random page. She couldn't stop herself as her eyes began to do what they naturally had been taught to do. 

_April 22nd_

_I told Mark that I was anxious about going to the obstetrician today. He only reassured me a thousand times that all would be well. There is just something daunting about it all. My heart already knows that I'm in love with my future child. I just hope that I will just have some sort of peace after the appointment. Mark started a new study today. He said that if his theories are correct then it could be break through in science, in the world! What a wondrous world we live in._

_Just finished the appointment. My heart is so full that as I write this tears cloud my vision. I heard my baby's heart beat today. They estimate I'm 10 weeks along. I just kept staring at the ultrasound, hoping that my eyes weren't playing a cruel trick on me. I can't believe that my reverie isn't just fiction anymore. I'm going to be a mother. Everything is changing and it's all so exciting. I'm planning on telling daddy, tomorrow. I know he'll be supportive and that is all I can ask of him. I just wish I could talk to Mum. It would be so intriguing to see how she would process the news of a grandchild._

_I know Mum is looking down on me today, I can feel her love. It's very rewarding having her in heaven. I know she only helped the process of my pregnancy. I can feel it. It's almost 6 PM I need to start on dinner. Until tomorrow._

_~Marie_

Finishing the entry Raven shut the journal softly. She had a strong desire to keep reading it. She had truly stumbled on to a treasure. Although the feeling was strong she had a stronger yearning to share the gem with the man who was back home. She hoped that he would see it as the prized possession that it was. Maybe this would soften the blow of telling him her reason for a trip away from California. Tom gave her a bright smile and shook her hand. 

"You will give it to him yes?" 

"Of course." She stated

"So great meeting you. I look forward to talking to you shortly." He picked up his hat and opened the door for her. Stepping out of the house she clung to the journal like a child would to its mother. She stated her good byes and then began the walk back to the hotel. Getting farther and farther from the apartment the strong emotion that she had been feeling since she walked in, began to subside. She inhaled and exhaled slowly the warm air sticking in the back of her throat. Exhaustion quickly took over her as every step was one step closer to getting in a much needed mediation time. 

A small vibration inside her pocket made her stop mid-step and only continue after she pulled out her phone. Turning it on she saw a new message. 

"Mumbo Jumbo attacked Jump City Community Park today. He turned everything into a real life circus. We finally managed to get his punk ass back into jail but Robin's hair is now pink....  I seriously haven't stopped laughing since then. I told him to leave it that color, people pay big bucks to get their hair that color. He didn't find me funny. Star felt bad for Rob and offered to make him a 'special' dinner. So pretty much I'm waiting until everyone goes to bed so I can order some pizza. Wish you were here, I'd share my veggie pizza with you. Call me later? Stay safe." 

Only using her right hand she began to type out a message back to the green one, "I'm glad to hear that everything is basically normal back home. Tell Robin he's lucky that it's not purple, I can't have boy wonder competing with me. Veggie pizza actually sound pretty appetizing right now. I'll see you soon. I got something special for you." 

* * *

 

   
"Just one more night man, you can do this. You're a man! A strong green man who can handle anything." Beast Boy quietly spoke to the dark shadows of his room. A positive pep-talk was surely the answer. His eyes gently squinted at the bright light, as he opened up his commutator. Letting out a soft sigh already knowing that no matter how many times he checked, there still wouldn't be a missed call. Flipping on to his right side he readjusted himself. "Go to sleep go to sleep." He murmured softly. His eye snapped open and saw that it was only 10:30 PM. He let out an annoyed growl as he realize that going to sleep nearly three hours earlier than his normal bed time was futile. 

He stared up at the boards that held his top bunk up and wondered when did he turn into such a baby. He was positive that he was driving his poor girlfriend mad with all the texts and phone calls that he had placed to her. He mentally began to promise to himself that he wouldn't text her again for the rest of her trip.  _'Distance makes the heart grow fonder.'_ Rang off into his memory. He knew that he needed to back off. The last thing he needed is Raven thinking he was some clingy sissy that couldn't go a few days with out seeing his girlfriend. Letting out a drawn out sigh he forced his eyes close and began to think of other things. Tomorrow was a new day. He could convince Cyborg that a trip to the arcade was long over due. A smile formed on his lips, a perfect plan scheming in his brain. 

His green emeralds popped open as he nose picked up a familiar scent. He didn't have a chance to move before her soft voice answered his unanswered thoughts and desires. 

"I'm slightly surprised to see you in here. I was sure you'd be in my room." 

He sat up so quickly that he slammed the top of head on his top bunk. "Fuck." He muttered his hand rose to his head. He peered at her with one eye wondering if he fell into a deep sleep. "Rae?! What are you doing back so early?" 

She had one arm tucked behind her back while her other one sat softly at her side. Feeling the heat rising on her cheeks she looked to the floor. "I... Uh...Well." She stumbled over her words which was so unlike her. Her right arm rose and began rubbing her left one showing that she was thinking on what to say. "I finished early." She got out finally. She let out a soft gasp as felt his soft touch. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her into him. His hand gently cupped her cheek, his touch making her exhale all the breath inside her lungs. 

"Can we go to my room now?" She asked. The corner of his lip turned up slightly. His head leaned to the left as his ears caught the interesting tone in her voice. He felt his body shiver as she gently grabbed a hold of the fabric of his shirt. "I need to talk to you." 

"Lead the way." He stated then he pulled her lips to his and stole a kiss from her. A small muffled sound came from her lips as he pulled away. He gave her a smirk as he had been quite familiar with the noise. She grasped his hand and pulled him to the door. His heart felt like it was pounding into oblivion as he breathed in her perfect scent. He only prayed, as she pulled him down the hall, that if this was a dream he wouldn't wake up any time soon. 


	5. Journal from the Past

Her nimble finger pressed the black button that opened the door to her room. Once the door slid back into wall she soundlessly stepped through the threshold. Her body reacted immediately to the comfort of her room. She let out a soft sigh and took a deep breath of the sweet lavender that always lingered in the air. She slummed her shoulders and made her way her bed. It wasn't until she flopped down on to her bed did she remember that she had brought the grass stain with her. She sat up and peered over to where he was. He stood near the door his body slanted as he use the wall to hold part of his weight up. The pools of emerald sparkled as he watched her. A grin that spoke a thousand words was glued to his face. This made her softly smirk and look towards the floor.  
  
"There something wonderful about coming home to the comfort of my room." He smiled and nodded.   
  
"I know what you mean. There's something wonderful about seeing your girlfriend after a few days of not seeing her." He commented. He launched himself off the wall and moved over to where she was sitting. He sat down and leaned into her. Raven didn't stop him as his lips moved to hers. Unlike the kiss in his room that was a welcome home kiss this one was more electric. His hand moved to the back of her neck to keep her there with him. A soft purr moved up from his chest as the kissing grew more and more fervent. Her tongue had found it's way into his and he couldn't help arousal feeling that had begin to boil deep down. She tasted like spearmint gum which had become a new favorite of his, especially when it was from her mouth. Her breath hitched as his mouth began to move down from her lips to her neck.   
  
"Garfield." She spoke softly her voice sounding thick with desire. He only responded with a hmmph as he kissed near her pulse. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she remember that he may not want anything to do with her after her confession. "Gar." She repeated pushing on him softly. This time Gar lift his head from her neck and his eyes looking straight into hers. His face showed confusion, he had never heard her talk like that before and never while he was trying to make the moves on her. If she wasn't interested she always gave a firm rejection.  
  
"Whats wrong?" He asked.  
  
She let out a breath and then her eyes began to beg him not to be upset. "I have a something to confess and I know you're not going to be happy about it." He sat up his eyes never leaving hers. His excitement to see her melted away as a new nervousness took over.   
  
"Please tell me you haven't fallen for a old wise scary looking mediation grugu." His voice shook uneasily gulping in the process. She let out a breath that  almost sounded like she wanted to laugh but held it in. She smirking at him she began to shake her head.   
  
"No it's nothing like that." She stated in a matter of fact tone. The smirk faded from her lips as her eyes cast down towards the floor. She licked the bottom of her lip before she continued. "I guess I'll start by saying I didn't actually go on a mediation retreat. In fact wasn't anywhere near India." Her brow furrowed as she finally took her gaze off the unseen object that was on the floor. She lifted her head and looked up at him to see his reaction. His attention was fixed on her as he seemed frozen in one position.   
  
"Where did you go then?" he asked his voice sounding tight and slightly alarmed.   
  
"Africa." She answered. The single word clung to the air making the room have weird feeling. His body stiffened instantly, his fist formed into tight balls that rest by his side. The sound of their hearts pounding was the only sound in the room. "Please don't be upset." She asked. That all he needed. He didn't have to ask anymore questions to know why she had gone to Africa. The only question that seem to stick in his mind was,   
  
"Why?" He asked in accusatory tone. "Why did you all the way there? I could have told you anything you wanted to know about  _them_." The anger in his voice made her sink slightly into the bed. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. She knew that if she got upset then he would blow up.   
  
"I went because I wanted to help. Rita called and I accepted her request."   
  
"I told her that I didn't want anything to do with that place." He growled through gritted teeth. Her soft fingers snaked into his. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze trying to calm him down.   
  
"I know, that why I went for you." she replied softly in her normal monotone voice. She could tell by the look on his face that her statement left no lasting affect on him. Dropping his hand she stood up. "I knew you'd be upset that's why I didn't tell you." He remained quiet his brain processing what she was telling him. He could feel the anger boiling deep inside his guts. He wanted to lash out at her. He wanted to call Rita up and scream at her. He wanted to act like a immature child and stomp his feet, punch a hole in the wall. He wanted to do so many things but he didn't. Instead he stared at the dark carpet that matched her dark walls. Teeth clenched his heart threatening to pump straight out of his chest.   
  
She moved over to her desk. With her back to him she carefully picked up the book as if it was a fragile as glass. "I took care of it for you. You don't have to worry about it anymore." She stated coolly. She let out a sigh and decided to go with her gut. Hoping his aggravation would melt away once he saw the book. Pivoting back around she walked back towards where he was sitting. She crouched down letting the book rest on her knees. She moved her head so that she could meet his gaze. "Tom, the estate representative, asked me to give this to you." Looking down at the book she nudged the journal into his hands.   
  
She could only watch as all the color seemed to drain out his green face. His tight jaw instantly slacked as his eyes focused on the item.   
  
"Where did he get this?" He asked in very small voice.   
  
"It was found in the camp your parents and you last stayed in. A tribal woman mailed it to the last known address. My guess is it took her awhile to get it to the apartment. The postage was marked just a few years ago."   
  
"Calista." He breathed. Her forehead creased as she gazed into his eyes.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Calista." He repeated a bit louder this time. "She was the tribal chief's wife. There was one tribe that we often camped with. Calista helped my parents. She was the only one in the tribe that knew any English." His eyes never left their spot on the book. His fingers traced the outside edge of the L. "I was so young. I was confused, naive, and even if I had known better I wouldn't have had time to go back to the camp." He spoke in vague sentences his mind lost in a far off memory. She watched his perfect orbs staring off in space. Suddenly they became wet with tears.   
  
His gaze snapped back with the feeling of tears filling his eyes. Bringing his attention back to her violet ones she finally could see the emotion behind them. "I completely forgot about this." He whispered. Before she had a chance to say anything back to him, she felt him pull into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her hand rest on the top of his head. He buried his face into neck letting silent tears run down his face. Just breathing he stayed in the warmth of her hug. Breathing in her lavender scent he let his body feel the somber emotion that laden his heavy heart.   
  
She let him hold her for what seemed like hours to her. She did her best to comfort him but she knew that her silence was the best thing for him right then. Rubbing her hand in his hair she took deep breaths trying to calm the cloud of emotions that were fogging her head. Finally he sniffed slightly and moved his head up.   
  
"I'm sorry for being mad. I promise I'm not mad anymore." He kissed her cheek softly and gave her small smile. "Thank you for this Rae."   
  
"It was no big deal." She replied. It wasn't difficult for her but she knew that the whole trip in itself was actually a very big deal. Almost as if reading her mind he countered,  
  
"Yes it is, you didn't have to go. I know you must have been so uncomfortable."   
  
Rolling her eyes she gave him a small smirk, "It wasn't so bad, Steven is quite a character I will say-"   
  
"Oh God." He cut in. "Please tell me he didn't freak out on you."   
  
"Like I said, he's quite the character." She paused for a moment looking to the left. "He may have or may not have asked me to leave." He let out a groan that came off sounding like and animal growl.  
  
"I'm so sorry, he can be such a prick sometimes."   
  
"It's fine, when I was there I could feel the emotion and vibes he was giving me and I understand why he's the way he is." Raven remarked thoughtfully. "Plus it probably would have been better if you were the one introducing me instead of me just showing up ready to collect his adoptive son's possessions." He licked his lip ready to give her a rebuttal but he knew he couldn't after that statement.   
  
He was quiet for a moment pondering the situation at hand. "Maybe, we can invite them to dinner?" He suggested. Her lips turned up showing off her rare smile. The same one he had come to adore. "We could go to that really fancy place in Gotham, you know the one you love? You could wear that black dress the one with no back." He gave her a suggestive smile and then chuckled as she let out a exasperated sigh.   
  
"Yes, because I'm sure Steve will be more impressed with me if I'm wearing a scandalous dress."   
  
"No one can resist you in that dress, and when I say no one, I mean mostly me." He teased leaning into her. "I serious though, I'm sure Rita would be tickled pink." She let his first comment go and began to nod.   
  
"Sounds perfect." the Empath whispered. She spied the journal which had found a new location on the foot next to them. Beast Boy caught her look and picked it up.  
  
"Did you read it?" He asked   
  
"I read one entry, but I couldn't read anymore. I knew that it wasn't mine to read, at least not until you finished it." She confessed. He smiled and grabbed her hand. Lifting it to his lips, kissing the back side of it he asked if she would join him on the bed. She eagerly agreed as the feeling of pins and needles had taken over her legs. She rose up and gingerly sat down next to the Changeling. He opened the cover of the book and sighed.   
  
"I honestly don't remember much of my mom but I do remember her always writing in this." He flipped to the first page and looked up at Raven. "As a kid I just thought that it was lost forever, but now that I have it in my hands its like so surreal." She nodded again understanding completely. "Do you want to read with me? I think of a better way to share something of my past with someone who means so much to me." Her violet iris sparked with excitement for a moment. She had secretly hoped he would have offered that. She couldn't help but be quiet drawn to journal.   
  
"Yes. I'd love to." She answered softly.   
  
They moved up the bed and fluffed up Raven's pillows. Once they were sure that they couldn't get anymore comfortable, they began to situate themselves on the bed. Raven propped herself up on pillows so she was sitting up. Beast Boy waited until she was completely settled before he moved next to her. He flopped down a little too close to her jostling the bed in the process. He ignored her glare with his cheesy grin and scooted in. Leaving little space as possible he snuggled into his girlfriend. Once he was satisfied he opened the book and put it between them. He flipped open to the first entry. His smile faded as he began to concentrate on the page.   
  
_Dec 16th  
  
"These empty pages are your future, soon to become your past. They will read the most personal tale you shall ever find in a book.”   
  
I suppose I'll start this journal out with a little bit about me. I was born Marie Matthews, to John Garfield Matthews and Mary Aikens. I was born in a small town outside of London, called Haslemere. An only child, by the age of five, my father became a wealthy partner in a business firm.  He moved our small family to the states. I would not return to my naive land until I was in my late teens. Moving to the states put a damper on my parents marriage. To this day I'm unsure quite what happened, perhaps it was Dad being a workaholic or mom spending problem, between the two of them it wasn't hard to see past the facade they put up. Even as I child I remember thinking, that they weren't fooling anyone. I know Dad loves me but he was never one to show it, the best thing he ever did was put me into boarding school. This is where everything changed. I discovered my love of learning. School was one of my greatest joy. It was truly the one place that I felt like I was home.   
  
I graduated top of my class. Valedictorian. I've included a picture that mom took of me on graduation. (on the back page)  Mom told me she never been so proud of someone in her entire life. Dad wasn't able to come to see me that day, I wonder if he often regrets not coming to his only child's graduation.   
  
I applied to Oxford that year. I was accepted in the fall and began my studies in bio-science. I had always been fascinated  with science and I couldn't be more thrilled to finally go back to my birth place. I moved across the country away from my parents. I finally felt free. When I was in boarding school there was this need to be perfect, even if Dad wasn't there, he might as well had been. I was my own person. It was very refreshing. My first year at Oxford was an absolute dream. I couldn't have prayed for a better year. Maybe God was blessing me for my hard work, or maybe he was preparing me for the upcoming year.   
  
July 22nd. The day haunts me, and most likely will always haunt me. It had been a brisk rainy morning. Which that in itself was quite odd considering that it was July. I had just finished a final for my math class and had found myself quite pleased. Finishing way before my fellow classmates I was positive that the outcome of the test would only be in my favor. I had started to write down some notes for the upcoming chapters when the sound of the door opening cause me to look up. In that moment I had a rush of dread wash over me. No one interrupts a testing room. The young fellow strode in his eyes to the floor. I had gotten to my feet unaware in doing so. The visitor whispered something to professor and then turned to exit. Professor Carver locked eyes with me and nodded. I felt my knees give out on me as I nearly fainted right there. Somehow I managed to make my way down there only to be told that I had been called to the dean's office.    
  
I don't remember walking out of the class or even across the path way. I felt so sick and I was positive that if I didn't make it to the dean's office it was because I had blacked out. I didn't have to be told what had happened. Somewhere deep down I already knew. The words still ring clear as bells in my ears. 'Marie there's been an accident. Your father has been trying to get a hold of you since this morning. I regret to inform you that your mother has passed away.'   
  
Mary Aikens Matthews died in tragic car accident in the early hours of Monday July 22nd. Mom requested to be buried in her birth place, London. Dad never said anything the day of her funeral. Not that expected him to. I was an absolute mess. I just kept thinking of all things I never got to say to her. How much I wanted to her be alive and wished I could go back to the day of my graduation. I learned that day never to take anything for grated. "The trouble is, you think you have time." Buddha.   
  
It's been six years since mom left this world. There isn't a day I don't think about her. I often wonder what she doing up there. If she watching me, and if she still is proud of the her little girl. The funny part about it all is I don't think mom ever thought that Dad and I would be close, but because of her I've really tried to reach out to him. He doesn't call me but I always call him, and although he never admit it, I know he loves it just as much as I do. That's the type of person he is. Never one to call and tell you anything, but always willing to listen if needed. That's why I love him.   
  
~Marie_  
  
His green fingers traced the page before flipping it, knowing Raven had finished the page long before he did. On the back page was three pictures. A young woman, Marie, in cap and gown she was waving and smiling on a stage. Her brown locks had been curled perfectly, while her green eyes sparkled with glee. Next to the photo was a picture of man with a salt and pepper mustache sitting in a giant desk. He wore a hand crafted tailored suit. The look on his face bore that of annoyance as his hand was partially raise. A large phone was stuck to his right ear showing that the picture had been taken while he was busy. Under the picture was Marie's script, ' _only picture I could find of dad. I couldn't even find one wedding photo?'_ The last photo was a black and white picture that had been labeled.  _'Mom.'_ Mary gazed up at unseen object as the photographer took the picture of the odd angle. It was a common pose for the era. A simple picture showed where Marie had gotten all her looks from. Brown locks and same mouth shape. His eyes gazed at the unfamiliar pictures for what seemed like an eternity.   
  
Finally he pulled his stare away and moved on. The next entry also had a quote on the top of the page. He began to skim the words and realized that it was a continuation of the previous entry just a different day.     
  
_Dec 17th  
  
"Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly." Robert Frost   
  
Now I must tell the story of how I was swept completely off my feet. This happened almost a year after mom died. I was sitting in my favorite _ _café my thoughts on a lecture from one of my professors. The mountain of homework that I had was ever piling on and on and for some reason I was having a hard time getting on top of it. I sipped my coffee pouring over my notes when I was suddenly interrupted. A new busboy asked me if I was finished. I looked up to see a pair of blue eyes peering deep at me. I was caught off guard for a moment. Surely I had seen attractive men before but this time it was different. I don't remember saying anything before he was taking my semi full plate and tossing it into a grey bin. His tall broad shoulders were enough to make any girl weak in the knees and any guy green with envy._  
  
_He flashed his perfect teeth at me and asked me what I was studying. I gave him a brief answer and watched as he eyes got excitedly curious. He introduced himself as Mark Logan. I did my best to brush him off, like I had done to numerous men in the past, but some reason I couldn't shake him._  
  
_I came back everyday that week telling myself it was great place to study but in reality I knew I secretly wanted to see him again. One day in particular he happened to come in on his day off. After inviting himself to my booth, I couldn't help but feel excitement rush over me. This is when I learned all about Mark. He was from New Jersey and had graduated with honors in his school. A few years older than me, he was having a rough go trying to get into same university I was at. It wasn't until the girl that always there was apologizing to us, for having to ask us to leave. We stay and talked until 12 am closing time! He walked me back to my dorm and kissed me goodbye on the cheek. I remember thinking as I tried to sleep that night was how interesting life was. They say when you meet the person your suppose to be with forever you know immediately. I knew the second his lips left my cheek that he was the one. It was an odd feeling to say the least. No past relationship I had compared to the one was blossoming before my eyes._  
  
_The best thing about Mark was he didn't expect me to drop everything for him. He understood my dedication to school.  He would come over and bring me food. Just sit with me while I did homework. He let me continue to be me and never forced me to be anything I wasn't. He told me he loved me right out of the blue one day. We had only been couple for maybe a month. He didn't take it back when I told him he was rushing he simply said, "Marie there is no reason for me not to say it when it's how I feel."_  
  
_I thought graduating would be the happiest day of my life and yet I was pleasantly surprised to find my wedding trump every happy feeling I had ever come to know. Being the bride I picked St. Paul's Cathedral. Everything was magical, beautiful, and perfect. I promised not to cry but that commitment was instantly broke when I opened the door of the bride room. Daddy was standing in a tux with a smile I had never seen grace his face. I wasn't sure he would make it to the ceremony Tears flooded down my cheeks as he told me I was the most beautiful bride in the world, and they only seem to get worst as he told me Mom would be so proud. I could feel how true his words were._  
  
_Mark has been by my side ever since. He stuck to me through everything. I know that we were meant to be, like soulmates. We understand each other We're perfect for each other. I can't imagine life without him._  
  
_~Marie_  
  
Gar's cheeks ached as he realized he had been beaming the entire time as he read. Next to the words were more pictures. All glued in perfectly. All of them contained pictures of Marie and Mark. He gazed at the picture his mind racing. Never seeing these pictures before he realized what a treat this find truly was. He moved on right along never wanting to stop.   
  
The pair continued to read well into the night. His mother went into great detail with everything. She talked about being hired to do research on a group of rare monkeys in the jungle of Africa. Her father buying an apartment that they were eager and happily willing to take the offer. She mentioned how life was so different now that she was truly an adult. The young woman used her journal religiously and hardly missed a day, no matter if how insignificant it was. Christmas's, birthdays, anniversaries she recounted everything. Marie also provided pictures to go along with her entries and although not every single one had a picture it made the experience that much better.   
  
Gar pause when he turned a page and instead of normal long scripted note this page had one sentence. He frowned as he read it.   
  
_Sept 30  
  
To quote a former president, "The light has gone out of my life." Theodore Roosevelt _  
  
He reread it not understanding the dark message behind it. Everything he had read up to now had been cheery and pleasant. His mother was a very optimistic person. He didn't even get her name out before she whispered,  
  
"Oh no."   
  
"What's oh no?" He asked turning his attention on Raven.  
  
"She lost the baby." She stated in a shaky hushed tone.   
  
"What do you mean?" He questioned. The last page she talked about how excited she was to find all the pregnancy test she had taken were positive. Raven reached across the book and went back to the previous page. She eyed the date and began counting in her head.   
  
"She would only have been maybe a month along." The Empath remarked. She had been quite entranced by the journal and now felt like she may die from anticipation. She flipped to the next page and saw that many days and elapse since the last one. Her mouth gaped open as Marie's words confirmed the goth's hypothesis.  Gar turned his head to his right looking at her shocked.  
  
"How did you know-?"  
  
"Lucky guess?" She shrugged. She frowned for a minute then offered a different answer. "It's a woman thing. I just know by the tone of the page." His brow furrowed in confusion as he shook his head. It didn't make any sense with just a mere quote that his girlfriend had known exactly what had happen. She didn't have to say anymore, "woman thing" was all it took to shut the Changeling up. She noticed his demeanor and again spoke softly.   
  
"Theodore Roosevelt wrote this in his journal the day his wife died. It was obvious that was the connection she was making." He nodded a few times.   
  
"Thanks Rae for clearing that up." It made him smile as it was something that she never seemed to grow tired of. She was always explaining things until he understood. Once again he snuggled close to her and they continue on reading. He ignored the fact that it was now approaching the wee hours of the morning.   
  
Marie continued on talking about miscarrying, and consulting with the doctors about trying again. Going on a three week research project into the African jungle and being nervous about being so far away from civilization. Going on she tells of her adventure and people she met and came to love.  He read about her finding out once again she was pregnant, terrified that surely she would miscarry once again. Looking at the date he realize that there was no way she would since he was born in that year. He flipped pages and let his eyes scan each page carefully sometimes going over it twice. He stopped when he came across a word he didn't recognize. He reread the word and the sentence over and over trying to make his brain understand it. Finally after the tenth time he gently nudge his girlfriend to ask her what the word meant.  
  
"Rae, what does this word-" He stopped as he looked down to see the Empath sound asleep. Her mouth was slightly parted as she breathed in and out. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her head. He was honestly surprised that she lasted as long as she did. He knew that using her powers to travel, always wiped her out. He knew that he was going regret the his decision in the morning but there was something powerful that drew him into the journal.   
  
-2 AM-   
  
His green iris fought to focus on the page but no matter how he tried his eyes were telling him that they were more than done for the night. He sighed bringing his palms to his face, he began to rub his eye sockets getting very little relief from this. He looked back down and had figured by the dating in the book he was just few months shy of the accident. He had found a piece of paper and began ripping it into shreds. He marked pages that he liked, wanted to share with Cy and Raven, quotes that he wanted to write down, and ones that he had questions about. As he got farther in the journal he realized that the soul purpose of it was actually because of him. All the beginning entries that she wrote were of her past. It wasn't quite clear until she started her note out by saying, "Now that I've spend six months explaining my past I will finally start writing about the present." This is where he learned about his mothers difficult and exasperating pregnancy.   
  
Marie discovered the journal on trip back to London to visit her mother's grave site. She bought it with the intention of filling it mainly for the fetus that was growing inside of her. He flipped back to a marked paged and smiled as a picture of new born was pasted right in the middle of the page. She wrote in huge letters G A R F I E L D  M A R K   L O G A N across the top. Down the sides was information on his birth;  7 lbs 9 oz, Tuesday, Nov. 17th, 2:47 AM, bright blue eyes and light peach fuzz hair. His finger lightly touched the photograph and wondered how happy is parents were on that day. He moved along again and noticed a piece of paper fell out. He turned to the page and began scanning it.   
  
This one talked about how the first time returning to the jungle Gar was just a year old. The young family came across a tribe that was in desperate need of medical supplies. Mark and Marie set out to on a mission to get the supplies. He loved this story because it showed how selfless his parents really were. It didn't matter what they were doing or that they had an infant with them they still chose to help the tribe. In a way they were superheros. He loved the quote on the bottom of the page,  _"If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that."  
  
'Mom the world needs more people like you.' _ he thought to himself. He stuck the paper back in and shaking the tiredness from his head he moved on. He couldn't decide which he loved most about the journal. He loved learning about his parents past, he felt like he was finally getting pieces that had been missing his whole life. As she wrote about her pregnancy he found himself entrance knowing that he was the one that had been growing inside her. Then after he was born he suddenly loved reading about how she played and snuggled him, making him wish he could remember the early times in his infant years. Then as he turned and flipped through countless amounts of words and pictures he found himself loving the entries of the years his memories did recall told threw his mothers eyes.   
  
Marie told about how frightened she had felt when young Gar was rushed into a medical tent after encountering the very monkey she had been sent out to study. She begged and pleaded with God not to take her child away. As her husband and her began the impossible task of creating an antidote for him. Putting on a brave face for her son she promised him that everything was going to be okay. Then after a few days of not writing anything she finally wrote that her son had been cured from Sakutia. The next few entries were dark much like to her one of miscarrying. She wished she had been the one bit instead. Words like horrible parents, foolish, and ignorant, had become her favorite as she cursed herself.   
  
Gar was happy to see that after two weeks of this Marie wrote about how Gar had asked to go on adventure, and that is when she realized that he was still her little boy. She mentioned that the antidote had saved his life but had cause some life changing affects.  _"Green everything."_ At first she was inconsolable, these were the days she didn't write anything.  _"How can he live a normal life?"_   Beast Boy mentally began thanking his father for being not only so patience with her, never once leaving her to dwell on her dark thoughts. Marie wrote that while she had refused to leave her tent even in the boiling heat Mark was the one taking care of his new green son. Marie's optimism returned and soon she was talking about how Gar would randomly change into any animal scaring her to death. This made him chuckle as he pictured what happened the first time his parents saw him change. What a shock that would have been.   
  
-3 AM-  
  
His finger pushed the page back revealing the date, April 27th. His heart leaped into his chest and he immediately slammed the book shut, making a loud clap noise. It made the sleeping girl next to him stir slightly then whisper in a horse voice,  
  
"Gar come to bed turn off the light." He forgot that the light had been on the whole time while she had been sleeping. He exhaled slowly and sat the book down on the ground. He gave it a queer look as he felt suddenly afraid of it. Kicking his legs off the bed he pulled his uniform off stripping down to just his boxers. His heart had finally stopped pounding as he knew that it probably would pound when he finally did get the courage to read the last entry. He felt very somber all of the sudden as he turned off Raven's light. He knew that it was the last entry and it made him sad to know that there wouldn't be anything after it. Marie Logan's life story was cut short never to be written again. He sighed again trying to push the new dismal thoughts from his brain.   
  
He covered Raven and himself with her comforter and began to get comfortable. He knew that sleep would find him very fast tonight. Snaking his arms around the Empath. She let out a deep breath sounding likes she finally was comfortable now that he had her in his arms. Spooning her he gently pushed her hair back so he could smell the back of her neck. Her sweet scent filled his nostrils and he felt himself melt into the bed and her. He gently kissed the spot just below her ear and whispered a very sincere,   
  
"I love you Rae."   
  
Air escaped her lungs and she gave of a small soft moan, "I know." He froze for a second realizing that she wasn't in quite of deep of sleep as he thought. Not feeling her move away in rejection or fear, he slowly let out the breath that had caught in his throat. After a long quiet moment he felt his body being pulled into sleep. The last thing his special ears made out was Raven's sweet tired voice saying, "I love you too." 

* * *

  
  
The sun was big and bright in sky that morning. Stepping softly on to the roof Garfield took in a deep breath of sea air. It was warm already showing that it was a promise of a hot day. He gently carried his items in his arms and strolled over to the side of the tower. He tucked the pen behind his green pointy ear and peered out at the landscape in front of him. He woke up feeling charged and refreshed ready to go, which was interesting since the little sleep he got the night before. He got up and had the strong desire to finish what he had started last night. Some how he overcame his fear and now had begun a new idea. Letting the sun warm his green skin he kicked the air as he opened to the last page in the diary.   
  
_April 27th_  
  
_"When it's time for you to venture out, don't let fear have you looking back at what you're leaving behind."_  
  
_Woke up with a strange feeling today. At first I thought it was fear and doubt plaguing my emotions, but now as I eat and write as much I can, I know its a different feeling. Hope. We are taking a boat today across the river and going into uncharted territory. Mark is so excited and is sure that we are going to finally get some answers. I'm quite hopeful of what the day is going to bring._  
  
_Gar has been so funny this morning. He keeps having me watch him morph. "Mom mom watch this!" Then I watch the magic that he as now become. He's going to do amazing things. Mark has been doing some research and thinks that there is a special school that can help Gar with his new abilities. I hope we get everything we need on our adventure today. I won't be like daddy and send my son away. If he does accepted into the school. I'm going to move right next door. Nothing is going to keep me from my son. It's so strange to think about his abilities. He is even more special then I ever thought possible._  
  
_I don't think he'll never know how much I love being his mom._  
  
_Mom is here with me today. I can feel her strong. I think it's another sign that something amazing is going to happen today. Mark has everything ready to go, and I'm sort of irritated with him. He promised Gar that he could come with. I just think he be safer if he stayed back at camp with Calista. She is more than willing to watch him but when Mark promise something he follows through._  
  
_Well I must go, until I get back._  
  
  
Small tears stung his eyes as he finished the page. Letting out a soft sigh he looked up at the blue sky. His ears and mouth were turned down ward as he felt the sadness overwhelm him. His mother would never come back and that was a tragedy. He scoffed at himself and the tears that were cascading down his cheeks. He knew that no matter what the story of his mother would end on a sad abrupt end. After a few moments of his mourning he wiped the remaining tears off his cheek and pulled out the pen from his ear. He pulled out a blank piece of paper that he had tuck in the journal. In his small chicken scratch he began to write.  
  
DEAR MOM,  
  
YESTERDAY AUGUST 4TH I RECEIVED A GIFT. THAT GIFT WAS YOUR JOURNAL. I SPEND ALL NIGHT READING IT AND I CAME TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I FOUND MYSELF SO CLOSE TO YOU BEFORE. I'VE DECIDE THAT BECAUSE OF YOU THAT I'M GOING TO START MY OWN JOURNAL. THAT WAY IF I AM EVER BLESSED ENOUGH TO HAVE MY OWN CHILDREN THEY TOO CAN READ ABOUT ME. THANK YOU FOR WRITING IT FOR ME.   
  
THERE IS SO MUCH TO TELL YOU AND IT WOULD TAKE A LIFE TIME TO GO THROUGH IT ALL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'D GIVE TO HAVE JUST ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU AND DAD. HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY I WILL GET TO SEE YOU AGAIN. I SUPPOSE I'LL START BY SAYING THAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO WORRY ABOUT LEAVING ME BEHIND. I HAVE A NEW FAMILY, A FAMILY WHO I THINK YOU WOULD BE VERY PLEASED WITH. I HAVE TWO AMAZING BROTHERS. ONE IS STRONG WILLED AND HARD TO GET A LONG WITH BUT HE GOT A GOOD HEART. THEN THE OTHER ONE IS TRULY MY BEST FRIEND. YOU'D LIKE HIM, HE'S SMART AND FUNNY. I ALSO HAVE A SISTER, SHE IS SO SWEET AND LOVING. A BIT OF NAIVE BUT OVERALL A VERY MOTHERING TYPE. THE BEST PART OF MY FAMILY IS THEY ARE ALL SPECIAL LIKE ME. THEY ALWAYS GOT MY BACK.   
  
MOM OUT OF EVERYONE I WISH YOU COULD MEET HER. MY HEART ACHES KNOWING THAT SHE WILL NEVER GET A CHANCE TO MEET DAD AND YOU. HER NAME IS RAVEN. SHE HAS HAD A ROUGH PAST LIKE ME BUT I SWEAR, SHE AN ANGEL. SHE'D DISAGREE WITH ME ENTIRELY, SHE'S STUBBORN LIKE THAT. SHE ALSO SCARY AT TIMES, SARCASTIC, BUT SHE'S BRILLIANT. I KNOW YOU WOULD LOVE HER AS MUCH AS I DO. I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE, NOT EVEN MY BEST FRIEND BUT I THINK SHE'S THE ONE. JUST LIKE YOU TALKED ABOUT IN YOUR ENTRY ABOUT DAD. I FEEL IT. I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HER.   
  
THERE'S NOT A DAY THAT `GOES BY WHEN I DON'T THINK ABOUT DAD AND YOU. I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF THE ACCIDENT NEVER HAPPENED, OR IF I WOULD HAVE BEEN OLDER, SMARTER I COULD HAVE SAVED YOU GUYS. I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT ME TO BLAME MYSELF BUT IT HARD TO KNOW THAT I HAVE THESE AMAZING ABILITIES THAT HELP ME SAVE LIVES EVERY DAY, AND YET I COULDN'T EVEN SAVE YOU. I'M TRYING TO STAY STRONG FOR YOU BUT I'D BE LYING IF I SAID THAT WASN'T A CHALLENGE FOR ME EVERYDAY. THAT'S WHY I THINK RAVEN IS AN ANGEL. SHE HELPED ME, HEALED MY ACHING HEART MORE THAN ANYONE EVER HAS BEFORE. I JUST HOPE THAT YOU'RE PROUD OF ME.   
  
LOVE YOUR SON, GARFIELD LOGAN   
  
PS. I MISS YOU.


End file.
